


Drinking Bird

by ObakeAri



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, More Fluff, couples being cute and awkward, just nerds being nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObakeAri/pseuds/ObakeAri
Summary: Taako goes in for a kiss before Kravitz has a chance to get out of his skellyman form. The result is a little more awkward than bumping noses.





	Drinking Bird

**Author's Note:**

> ......
> 
> I saw an anon answered by jocknidai on tumblr pop up on my dashboard and the image of Taako just...slotting his nose into Kravitz's skull had me laughing too hard to not use this as a prompt.

Taako had a bad habit of coming in for smooches when Kravitz wasn’t ready. And by not ready, he meant that he didn’t have any fucking  _lips_. At first it was a point of him just being self-conscious, but it also became a point of general functionality because how tdo you kiss someone if you’re just a skull? How do they continue kissing you for prolonged periods of time without it getting weird? Kravitz didn’t know. Taako probably didn’t care; either way it was a habit that he would’ve liked to train his partner out of but Taako was a stubborn elf so who knew what the reaper’s success rate would be. 

But then Kravitz discovered something arguably worse that could potentially occur when Taako kissed him. 

“Babe, you’re so great I could kiss you,” Taako cried out in relief after Kravitz spent literal hours trying and failing to find the source of the ant infestation that flooded their house suddenly. The process of finding, killing, and removing every seemingly indestructible insect as Taako ran around panicking uselessly with the cats in his arms worked Kravitz up into a rage-induced frenzy that ended in him standing there, scythe in one hand and insect repellent in the other, fully skeletal. 

So skeletal that one of the cats had leapt out of Taako’s arms and hopped onto the base of his pelvis to nap. 

“Don’t kiss me right now,” Kravitz glowered. “I’m angry and tired and I don’t have lips.”

“Never stopped me before!” Taako lifted the back of his hand to his head, swooning, “You saved my life!”

“Taako, seriously, I’m not in the mood–”

“Too late, buckeroo, the Smoochin’ Express is rollin’ into the station!” Taako cheered, not giving Kravitz enough time to at least change the bottom half of his face into something more kissable before Taako was kissing him fully, arms wrapped around his neck to effectively trap the reaper. Despite being absolutely irate, he still relaxed in Taako’s arms and Kravitz made to try and transform his face so he could return the favor but…something was stuck.

Taako’s nose was…well, it was in his nose.

Taako moved his head to pull away from the gentle peck slightly, giggling, “See? I can kiss you just fine like this!”

“Taako, your nose is in my nasal cavity,” Kravitz glowered, “I hardly call this normal.”

“Well, hey, using your nose hole to my advantage at least gives me a means for more direct kissing!”

“Taako–” Kravitz sighed in exasperation, switching gears slightly, “Can you please remove your nose so I can kiss you properly? Please?”

“Alright  _fine_ ,” Taako said flippantly, though there was hardly any malice in his voice. Humming absently, Taako drew his head back, but somehow because of the shape of his skull or the width of Taako’s nose, both men felt Taako’s skin catching on bone and they both flinched and yelped in a mixture of surprise and pain. Taako tugged his head back again but only felt the same, slightly worse response. After the third try and to no avail, Kravitz and Taako found themselves staring cross-eyed at each other. 

They. Were. Stuck.

“Oh shit,” Taako grunted. 

“Oh shit? Oh  _shit?_  Yeah, no shit Taako, we’re stuck!” Kravitz snarled, “How did we get stuck!?”

“Okay, okay, calm down, let’s just… _ow_ –let’s just get unstuck!”

“How are we gonna get unstuck!?”

“Hmmm,” Kravitz couldn’t quite see Taako’s expression from this close proximity and he was sure he didn’t want to, his anxiety only spiked when Taako offered, “If you side-step to the bathroom with me, I’m sure we could find some lotion or soap oooooor lube to loosen things up.”

“Lube!?” Kravitz guffawed.

“Yeah! I lather up one side, you get up in there and help me with the inside of your skull and it’ll slide right out!”

“YOU WANT ME TO LUBE YOUR NOSE LIKE IT’S MY FUCKING DICK!?” If Kravitz wasn’t already dead he would be keeling over in embarrassment by this point. 

“Well–yeah?” Taako tried to pull them both in one direction by pulling his head back, but grunted in pain, “Look, Babe, it’s fine–”

“THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU KISS ME IN THIS FORM, TAAKO!”

“Calm down,” Taako insisted. “Just. Side step to the bathroom with mewith me.”

Kravitz did not want to. Ohhhh he really didn’t want to. He hated every single moment of this and he got lube on his fucking skull and he hated that too but the only thing he hated more was admitting that Taako’s plan had been a good idea because now they were free and Kravitz had his face in the sink to wash it off. Lifting his head from the water, he groaned, “We are not doing that again.”

“On the plus side, I learned something today!” Taako cheered. 

“Not to stick your nose quite literally in my face?” Kravitz guessed dryly.

“No, that if I put lube on my nose, I can do this!” Taako turned and grabbed Kravitz by the shoulders and before the reaper even had a chance to react his boyfriend was bobbing his nose in and out of Kravitz’s skull like a god damn bird in a bird feeder, giggling like a mad man. “Check it out! I’m a Drinking Bird!”

Kravitz groaned, wanting to hate the fact that their minds went to the same place at the same time but he honestly couldn’t. Taako was adorable when he was this pleased with himself, and as he finally got Taako at arm’s length to change into his human form, Kravitz was sure to wipe his partner’s nose down with a kleenex as he kissed him senseless. 

**Author's Note:**

> I will lay my body out to dry and hopefully my sin evaporates with it.


End file.
